Wednesday, April 04, 2007


(fixed so that anyone can post)

So I’m a day late. Sue me.

It’s been a while since I’ve touched Lightwave 3D. I have no good reason as to the hiatus, except for the fact that I’ve been very busy. My full time job has been consistently taking precious hours out of my day, as well as hours away from sleep. The recent move that I’ve made, from downtown Stamford to North Stamford, was an ordeal, but is just about done. However, because of the lull, motivation is lacking.

Every now and again, I hit a motivational valley in-between the motivational highs that I usually find myself in. Lightwave is there, just a click away, but I have no drive to start creating. These times usually coincide with depression or frustration that can be attributed to the other facets of my life.

For the past few years, (has it been that long already?) I’ve been trying to put together a story, one that I’ve become very invested in, and passionate about. I’ve wanted to tell this story to the world, for no other purpose than to tell it. However, after constant rewrites, constant artistic changes, technical issues, and general time constraints, I haven’t worked on it in a while. Like a puzzle with missing pieces.

After a recent trip down to Florida to see the DAVE (Digital Animation and Visual Effects) school in the hopes to eventually enroll, I think I’ve seen a spark of that motivation that has previously been so elusive. Seeing groups of like-minded people working together for a common goal, to produce something out of nothing but hard work, creativity and talent, lit the fuse to the creative barrel of gunpowder sitting within my artistic soul. I’m just waiting for the bang.

In the meantime, to do what I can to self motivate, I’m trying to think of what would look good in my demo reel and portfolio. As of right now, I don’t have much that I’m proud of anymore; amateurishly laid out scenes and models, less than decent texturing, shoddy concepts. After seeing the work that my peers have created, it’s clear as day that I have a lot of concepts to brush up on, theories to remember, and generally a long way to go. A while ago, I picked up some books on fantasy art, as well as figure sketching. I think it’s about time that I picked those up again, and taken pencil to paper again and started trying to find what is lost to me now.

Until then, if you render, keep rendering. If you write, keep writing. If you draw, keep drawing. And as always, keep rockin’.


shinykaro said...

Inspiration can be so elusive, and so hard to hold on to. Sounds like you're preparing to dive back into the things you're passionate about. Go for it.

shinykaro said...

You know what would be awesome? A whole blog dedicated to talking about how cool your girlfriend is.

I'm just saying.

shinykaro said...

I've re-read parts of your last post, and without being cheeky for a change, I'll tell you what I think of your work.

Your work is creative, unique, heartfelt, experimental, and interesting. There is depth to it. Whatever you might feel you lack in execution is abundantly supported by your ideas and intent. Don't fault yourself for feeling inadequate in skills you haven't made the time to polish. Finding the self-discipline to do so can be cripplingly hard for any artist.

Don't give it up. Don't put yourself down. And don't forget that what you have in your hands is a long-running work in progress with many layers to it.

For everyone who can model a fantastic replica of some obscure transformer, or a sexy robot girl, or cartoony alien, ask yourself, how many have created something truly unique? And who's come to the table with a story to tell that could rival yours for depth and complexity? And then kick back with a cold one. Because you've earned it.

Tony said...

Just checking by to see what you were up to.

What shinykaro said... but from someone who doesn't really know you.