Nevergreen

What the hell, Karma?

2009-08-18T09:51:00.000-07:00

Life is weird right now.

I miss old friends.

But at least I still have my art.

Time to get back to being who I want to be.

Time to make some progress.

Inspiration

2008-10-15T17:29:00.000-07:00

I guess it's no surprise that pretty often my emotions get the better of me. The best of me, some would surely say. Well, in spite of my best efforts, I'm a pretty emotional guy. Something happens, and instantly it effects every part of my life. Sleep, how I eat, how I function at work, my ability to concentrate and rationalize are all compromised. It's interesting that I see myself this way, because someone very close to me one said that she couldn't tell what I was feeling at times. I feel like I wear my emotions on my sleeve, and that's not a very good virtue. Men are supposed to be stoic, unyielding in their resolve, yet if something hits me hard enough, I turn into a blabbering idiot, turning into a monster who says and does things that I abhor, or a gutless wretch, unable to form a single coherent sentence.

I used to be much better about this. When I was upset, I'd just jump

on the computer and start doing some artwork to take my mind off things. Recently, it's been increasingly hard to do so. My muse isn't there, and nothing flows.

Seeing as art is the one productive thing that I do in my free time, i've been forcing myself to do it, and it's yielded some interesting, and unexpected results. Much art is fueled by emotion, I suppose, so it's appropriate that if it's dark in my mind, that may come out in my pieces. I'm working on a few pieces right now that make me think that, and as I look at them, I'm almost ashamed that I'm creating them. They stand for something that I don't stand for. I got to a milestone on one of them and thought, "This isn't me..." to myself. But because of the fact that it's one of the better pieces i've done, I can't bring myself to stop working on it until it's done.

Besides there just being a lot of pills (and more to come) in the picture, there actually is a point to it. I dunno, hopefully things will make more sense, or start working out the way they should soon, because I don't want to use my only outlet to make things I'd be ashamed to show people.

I can has Mac?

2008-09-28T10:04:00.001-07:00

So I broke down and got a Macbook. It wasn't really breaking down as much as my Dell smacking me in the face and saying, "Ha, you fell for it! You're stuck with me, you silly, silly man!" But now, I've joined the herd of Mac people who would rather give up their firstborn than go back to fighting IT battles with their computers (not to be confused with the herd of people who went to Mac first, never used a windows based machine, but swears that Macs are better anyways.)

Let me back up a bit.

A couple of years ago, I got a Dell Inspiron 1705E that has a lovely 17" display. Little did I know that the reason that Dell could offer this computer at such a low price was because they essentially took parts that they knew they wouldn't support anymore, threw them in and said, "Hey, a 17" at this price? We must be out of our bloody minds!". It turns out that WE, the consumers were actually out of our minds.

About a year into owning the Dell, things started to act a little wonky. Another 3 months, then my soundcard went, my screen almost fell off, my keys got stuck, my DVD drive broke, my Audio-In jack bit the big one, and it won't connect to any network.

So to make a long story short, I'm now the proud owner of a brand spankin' new Macbook. So far, it's doing the job. The graphics are OK (I need to buy another 2GB of RAM. The display, while bright, isn't 17", but it'll do. It won't network with my Dell, but sees pretty much anything. I'm a huge fan of dynamic memory allocation (the cool thing that Macs do to give back ram after the program you're using is shut down. Windows doesn't do this).

The main graphics program I use, Lightwave 3d has Mac versions (for everything except for the most current upgrade). My painting program, Artrage has a mac version. My 3d painting program, 3d-Coat has a mac version. I have Skype, Adium for all my messaging needs, and iLife, which comes with OSX (I have a hard time saying OS Ten, 'cus OSX sounds much cooler).

I'll be the first person, however to say that the claims that Macs "don't get viruses" is bullshit, and a pox on anyone who says different. While I haven't gotten one yet, (thank god), it's only a matter of time before I do. The only thing preventing Macs from getting viruses is that there are fewer people writing viruses for Macs. It'll happen folks, you mark my words.

Aside from that, I appreciate the stability (even though i've crashed it about 8 times now since I bought it from massive memory usage). I haven't had to fight with it since I bought it. It doesnt take 5 minutes to wake, and runs like I just booted it.

Rendering my stills in lightwave happens pretty fast (even with interpolated radiosity activated). 3D painting flows a lot faster, unless i'm working with a very highpoly mesh.

All in all, i'm happy with it. I'm still getting used to the change from Vista to OSX, but with the help of a very good friend, I'm a lot more comfortable with it.

Mesh-up Mash Up

2008-09-05T15:14:00.000-07:00

Recently, I did a search for CG artists in the surrounding area, as I do often. I do this just to see if anyone new has popped up, and to try to network a bit.

It's been pretty disappointing in the past, because 3D artists are few and far between, mostly to be found in major cities like New York and Boston on the east coast, and a lot more on the west.

I found a site, meshfolk.com, and discovered that the studio is actually just down the street from my office, so I decided to call them up and see what they were all about. I wasn't expecting a whole lot, just maybe a newtworking opportunity, but they were kind enough to invite me over to chat after work.

On Thursday, I stopped by their studio, met the owner, and one of the modellers. It was a really nice meeting, and they liked the few samples of work that I brought with me. They're a Maya house, (meaning that they use the software Maya), and I use Lightwave. For those of you not in the know, knowledge of how to use different pieces of software can make or break you in this industry. Luckily, there are ways to convert from one to the other.

They asked to see some more of my work, so I pulled some together after I got home, and sent it to them. I got an email back praising it, and was told that they'd consider me for their next big project.

This is actually a huge step for me, because I've never really formally studied 3D, and never expected that my work would catch the attention of those who do this for a living.

So we'll see where this goes, but for the moment, i'm feeling pretty good. Below are some of the pieces I sent over.

Cheers

To view higher resolution copies of these renders, click here.

Slowly Getting Back on the Saddle

2008-08-28T07:33:00.000-07:00

I've been very lax with my project. I think it's because of poor planning. Last monday, however, I started doing my best to storyboard my graphic novel, based on an updated script.
I've been doing a quick sketch on index cards what I'd like page to look like, and then writing on the back of the index card writing any notes about the page, models that have to be made, and thoughts on each one.

Just to give myself a quick burst of motivation, I tried making the first page (or at least, page -1). Here it is:

This weekend, i'll continue working on my story board, spruce up the page above a bit, and set some goals/milestones so I can keep myself going.

Cheers.

PS3's HAZE: Run of the mill game, or brilliant military commentary?

2008-05-28T08:46:00.000-07:00

This post may contain spoilers for Ubisoft's PS3 title, HAZE

"They told me I would be the best. They gave me the best weapons. They gave me Nectar."

HAZE, the newest first person shooter for PS3 follows Shane Carpenter, recent college graduate and member of the private "Mantel Army" who learns early on that he's fighting for the wrong side.

During the early stages of the game, Shane (and you) learn how the Mantel Army works. Being the most successful private military, you have access to the most advanced weaponry, tactical information, and one key component, Nectar, a super performance enhancing drug.

The Nectar administer is attached directly to the back of the character's neck, and supplies a steady dose of the drug. By pushing a button, the player can administer higher doses, reflected by a gauge on the left hand side of the screen. These higher doses allow the player to see the enemy combatants surrounded by a hazy glow and from farther distances, see farther through the scope on their weapon, hit harder and sense danger such as grenades.

There are two immediate downsides to the Nectar drug. The effects do not last long, maybe 60-90 seconds per dose, so the player has to constantly administer it to themselves, something you hear your computer controlled squad-mates doing as you hear a click-hisssss as they run by. Also, if the user uses too much of the drug, they can overdose, not be able to tell friend from foe, have vision problems, shoot their weapon uncontrollably and pull the pin out of grenades and hold onto them (i'm assuming from muscle spasms).

The one main downside (or upside, depending on how you're looking at it), is that Nectar sterilizes your environment. That is to say, the player on nectar doesn't see what the regular person sees. The player walks into a room, sees a clean room with a door on the other end and a few desks. What they don't see is the dead bodies littering the floor, the blood splatter on the walls, and the player's own hands covered in blood. However, because the suit that the player wears delivers a constant low dosage of the drug, none of the other soldiers ever sees the gruesome damage that they cause.

Halfway through the game, the player's Nectar Administrator is permanently damaged, and he sees everything. This of course, leads him to question everything he was fighting for, and instead of his team wanting him back to fix him up, they try their best to kill him.

I'm skipping around here, but the player eventually joins the group of rebels that he had previously hunted as a Mantal soldier, and you learn that the reason for the entire skirmish is that the plant used to produce Nectar grows in the rebels back yard. Instead of striking up some kind of deals with the rebels (who at the beginning, weren't rebels at all), Mantel tells their people that the rebels are involved in ethnic cleansing, crimes against humanity, terrorism, and that their leader gruesomely disfigures captured prisoners.

Let me say that again.

The army that you're a part of can't see the destruction and brutality they're causing while invading a country to steal its natural resource under the guise of liberating its people from a terrorist group with an insane leader.

It wasn't until close to the end of the game that you realize that the leader of the rebels uses the same speeches to motivate his troops that your former squad leader used to pump his guys up before a mission. Also, one of the last lines in the game is about how the company used the drug in the wrong ways, and in the rebels hands, it would be used for good.

The most powerful weapon was indeed the drug, Nectar that was given to the soldiers. How could any regime defeat an army that couldn't see the evil it did, and willingly removed itself from the moral responsibility of its actions? Wrap all this up in a drug that made them stronger, faster, and more effective, as well as constant encouragement from superiors to "...go ahead and take your meds...". It somewhat reminded me of Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card in the sense that if the soldiers knew what they were actually doing, they never would have pulled the trigger.

So, this game touched on a lot of interesting points, but was far enough removed to look at the plot objectively. Many reviewers gave it a poor score, but I feel that they missed the point that the entire game was social commentary. I found a military with little oversight going into a foreign country on the grounds of liberating people from evil while actually just trying to secure their own interests somewhat familiar. How about one military group not learning from the mistakes of another?

All in all, it was an interesting game, and interesting concept, even if executed poorly.
One thing this made me think though, was that more games should follow in the footsteps of Haze and Battlestar Galactica in making social commentary. It is a viable medium after all.

Important Tax Rebate Information from TurboTax

2008-05-16T22:45:00.001-07:00

Wondering why you haven't received your stimulus check yet? this may be the reason.

Nice of them to fess up early - ____-

Dear Valued Customer,
We want to provide you with the most up–to–date information about the tax rebate to which you may be entitled.
Recently, you may have received a letter from the IRS advising you when to expect your Economic Stimulus Payment (rebate). That IRS letter may have inadvertently left off some important information. Taxpayers who chose to have their tax preparation fees deducted from their federal tax refund will receive their tax rebate in the mail, not via direct deposit.
Our records show that you chose this payment option in TurboTax. As a result, the IRS has determined that you will receive your tax rebate in the mail. This may result in you receiving your rebate on a date later than expected.
This situation, while not unique to TurboTax, is understandably causing some concern and confusion. To help further clarify the situation, below is the most current IRS rebate payment processing schedule, as well as additional resources about the tax rebates.
I hope you find this information helpful. If you still have questions, the best source for the most up-to-date information is www.irs.gov (see the "Rebate Payment Questions" link).
Sincerely,

Bob Meighan

Vice President, TurboTax Customer Advocacy
If the last two digits
of your Social Security
number are:
Payments will be
mailed no later than:
00 – 09
May 16
10 – 18
May 23
19 – 25
May 30
26 – 38
June 6
39 – 51
June 13
52 – 63
June 20
64 – 75
June 27
76 – 87
July 4
88 – 99
July 11

With a Purpose

2008-05-11T19:33:00.001-07:00

There are too many times when my main goal in art is to do something that just looks cool. This would look great! That would really impress people! While cool looking pieces are fine and good, they lack something that pieces with substance behind them have.

I've recently been getting into Google Sketchup, which is a free 3d modeling program that is basic enough and intuitive enough for the 3d novice to pick up and feel comfortable with pretty much immediately, but powerful enough to be used in the production pipeline of many architectural/ACAD studios. As some of you may know, back in high school I wanted to be an architect. I didn't care what I was designing, be it bridges, buildings, apartments, classrooms, as long as I was designing something. Unfortunately, I didn't get very far, as I picked up Japanese and did it a bit better than I ever did architecture, but the desire to design something that is closer to being tangible than airships and angel wings hasn't disappeared yet.

While doing some research on tutorials for sketchup, I came across this link. For those who are too lazy to follow the link, this architectural firm has used sketchup in the past to create eco friendly single and multi-family green homes. How's that for doing things with a purpose, eh?

The way I'm seeing it now, I have something I'm passionate about. I can keep the fruits of that passions (hmm) to myself, or I can try to do something with it. Something meaningful.

Now, I may not be a great architect, or a renowned painter yet, but I should start somewhere, and sometime. So why not here and now? So Now I'm making a resolution. From now on, every piece I do is going to be for a specific purpose. No more, "Wow, that looks cool!" for the sake of looking cool. Everything I do is going to be to in the efforts of learning something, or the piece will be used for a specific purpose.

Does that mean that Nevergreen is on the outs? No, not quite. NG was originally conceived as a reason to learn how to model more complex scenes, learn color theory, shot composition and lighting. It evolved into the story that I want to tell, but it has an educational origin.

I want to help people. So I'm going to take what I love, and figure out how to help people with it. Or at the very least, I'm going to have a reason for my art. Art for the sake of art lacks substance, in my opinion.

I want mine to have more purpose.

More Updates

2008-04-21T20:45:00.000-07:00

Its been about a month, and I haven't had a cigarette.

That's so weird.

There are times when I think i'd like one, but then, I don't.

I've been working out pretty regularly, doing good things for myself that have been long overdue, and getting into new things as well. I've gotten into digital sculpting (which really is an offshoot of 3D) and painting more. I went kayaking for the first time (thanks KS for the pix!) and I LOVED it.

Good things are happening, I can feel it.

Maja update / 3D Coat Magnifying Glass

2008-04-02T18:24:00.000-07:00

Small update here, been painting (and now 3D sculpting) like a fiend now. I'm feeling better and better with the painting, as its feeling more like what I want it to feel like.

On the other hand, there's this one, a magnifying glass modeled in lightwave and detailed in 3d coat (a cheap alternative to the more expensive Zbrush or Mudbox), and while I feel this is amaturish at best, I think i'm getting the hang of it.

Maja

2008-04-01T20:32:00.000-07:00

So, this was something that i've been working on, based on a photo of someone that's been on my mind for a while now.

I'm trying to capture that warmth that people have, and that bit of imperfection that so many cg artists miss. Of course, this isn't CG, but i'm also trying to focus on the correct highlights and shadows that appear with regular lighting.

I like how warm this one is, I purposely chose a warm canvas (the reddish brown background) instead of a cooler color like green or blue or something neutral like grey.

I like how all the tones are kinda the same flavor as the background. I'm a little worried about the hair, because hair is so hard to paint, but i'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Numb

2008-03-10T12:15:00.000-07:00

Losing someone is one of the worst feelings that we have to experience. It's even worse when it's a conscious choice.
Due to things that i'm not going to explain here, I had to make that choice, and it'll always haunt me. It's haunting me right now, every moment of the day.

I have to figure out how to do this, or that choice will be in vain. I have to jump into things that I have to do. I have to make myself better.

Status Update: DAVE, Artrage and bills...

2008-03-07T08:20:00.000-08:00

Its been a long time, and I'm at work, so I'll cut to the chase.

Here's where I stand in my pursuits to be a CG Rockstar akin to the glamor and prestige of Steve Jobs:

My recent application for Sallie Mae financial aid to go to the Digital Animation and Visual Effects (DAVE) school have been less than fruitful, to put it lightly, so it looks like I won't be attending anytime soon. This pretty much blows, because not only does it throw off my momentum, but it's been a major hit to my ego and self-esteem. I still feel like this is my future, and this is a sizable obstacle to overcome. Unfortunately, it's one that I haven't figured out how to address yet.

Because of all this, I'm trying to keep myself motivated by continuing to learn Lightwave, cg theory, color theory and related techniques... I still have so much to learn, and while self-study will only get me so far, it's still progress.

To improve my understanding in color theory, lighting, and composition, I'm taking a more traditional approach. A while ago, I purchased Artrage by Ambient Design and a new Wacom tablet. I'm trying my hand at painting, as it will force me to pay more attention to detail when it comes to lighting and color theory. I've impressed myself so far with what I have been able to achieve, but I'm not going to let that get to my head. I can always get better... Once I've completed, or at least made significant progress with a piece, I'll post it here, along with what I was trying to achieve or focus on, as well as the style and any other thoughts I may have.

In completely different news, but still relating to self-esteem and ego, crappy financial situations blow. In the past month, I've had to spend $750 on my car, an extra $400 on my phone/phone bill, run up my credit card, and dig for change. I'm not the most financially stable person, but I've usually been good about keeping things in check. Because of seemingly random unfortunate events, I've felt pretty much strapped, and not wanting to do anything, art related or not. But after some good counseling from priceless, irreplaceable loved ones, I think I'm on the road to mental recovery from the blow I took, and moving forward.

Slowly, but surely.

More to come.

Video Test

2008-01-28T12:46:00.000-08:00

Two posts in one day?
You guys sure are lucky...

Video test for production diary:

Mobile blogging

2008-01-28T10:19:00.000-08:00

Mobile blogging

So I figured out how to blog from my iPod touch. Sweet, eh? Now I can
do some running commentary on life on the go ( or at least when I can
find a wifi hotspot.) If only this worked with video as well.

Speaking of video, since I couldnt sleep last night, I took a friend's
advice and made a short 6 minute video production diary.
Unfortunately, I'm still trying to work the kinks out in posting it,
so expect if later on this week! Now off to find sone lunch, and get
some more work done.

Sent from my iPod

"Make your own look..."

2008-01-26T20:37:00.001-08:00

That's the advice the advice that I hear most often. While trying to
set myself aside from all the other 3d artist our there, especially
those that specialize in cel shading, its mighty hard to find a way to
define style when everything always ends up looking like cg.

Cel shading, for those of you that don't know, when related to 3d art,
is the process of making a 3d model look like it was hand drawn
instead of looking like something more realistic or something out of
Toy Story. Many 3d applications have cel shade plugins, but without
either a lot of time, or intimate knowledge of of the plugins, the
results often are instantly recognizable as what they are, or just
plain mediocre. I don't want my work to fall into either of those
categories.

So, aside from rebuilding my primary assets (main character models and
objects that will get a lot of page space) I have to find an
economical way to keep quality high while defining my own style.

Through lots of trial and error with the lightwave texture node
editor, I think I have found a solution.

What's next is now finishing the rebuildng of my primary and secondary
assets, finish re-writing my outline and get started on my script.

Its a long, trying process, but it'll all be worth it in the end, if
not just satisfying for me.
Wish me luck.

Nevergreen: Karin redux v1

2008-01-25T21:56:00.000-08:00

No hair yet, but using some new things i've learned to make her better.

Facebook Gave Me The Axe

2007-12-01T07:36:00.001-08:00

And i'm not really sure why... But last night, when I tried to get online, I got this message:

Your account has been disabled by an administrator. If you have any questions or concerns, you can visit our FAQ page here.

So, of course, I email the administrator, asking why it happened, and what I can do to fix my account. After some more digging, I found this:

"Facebook enforces limits on the site in order to prevent certain actions that can be considered abusive. Your account has been disabled for persistent and rapid use of a certain feature. Unfortunately, for security reasons, we will not be able to further explain these limits. "

Now the only rapid thing that I remember happening was my iPod touch trying to connect to facebook, so I'm being banned for using an apple product that is has the shakes?

"Facebook has limits in place to prevent abuse of our features and to protect users from potential spam."

That's well and good, we all hate spam, I hate spam. I even hate spam, the 'meat'! but again, what does this have to do with my ipod trying to connect?

"Unfortunately, Facebook cannot provide any specifics on the rate limits that we enforce. Please know, however, that the speed at which you are acting and the sheer number of actions you have made are both taken into account."

Um, ok... So you can't be specific about what I allegedly did, and you can't be specific on how many times I did it... but I did it fast and often.

After doing some other research, it appears that FB does a lot of things like this for a multitude of reasons. People with fake profiles, people with fake names, people claiming to be other people or organizations... Of course, i'm none of those...

As you can probably tell, i'm a bit confused by how this happened. Anyone that knows me knows that I'm not a spammer, not trying to fake anything.. But for some reason, the FB overlords decided that I was a threat to their clean, shiny social utopia of pirates, ninjas, zombies, snowball fights and superpokes.

Like I said, I sent an email to their customer support team, in the hopes that this is just a machine error, and my status can be reinstated, but this event is very telling about FB. No warning, no 'hey, quit that or we'll kick you out!" to which I would reply, 'Quit what?' and this would have never happened.

What's sad is that FB is so much better than myspace, and I'd rather not go back there for my social fixes.

So, feel free to comment here if you want to get in touch with me, as I was kicked out of the cool people club for reasons unknown to me.

At least I still have fun with Rock Band.

I'm Such a Sucker for a Good Figure

2007-11-16T10:31:00.000-08:00

Assassin's Creed, Ubisoft Montreal's newest blockbuster game came out on Wed. Unfortunately, I was broke until this morning, so I splurged a but and got the limited edition which comes in a tin and has a figure, short graphic novel and small artbook.

The reviews for this game have been very good, and it was highly anticipated. I can't wait to play it, but I have to wait until after dinner plans that I have with a friend.

In other news, I got a but of a response about my story from a couple of people, and they raised some good points on things that I have to flush out. To those of you who I sent it to and haven't responded, please do! I'd like to hear what you have to say!

In Other News:

Awww, someone photoshoped an adorable dog as a Colossus from Team Ico's Shadow of the Colossus!

Too funny!

Current Status: Exhausted and Anxious

2007-11-15T07:44:00.000-08:00

Day 21 without a day off. Welcome to the holiday season in retail management, ladies and gentlemen.
After the opening of our new Plaza (see last post), and a fashions show for a (brand) new store to the United States Who.A.U, and the Thanksgiving parade this coming weekend, and Black friday next, I don't know how I pulled time together to do this.

I'm back in the saddle as far as Nevergreen goes. I was thinking a few days ago that I'm worried that I would forget the details of the story because I haven't had the chance to work on it at all. So last night, I wrote a detailed outline of the story from start to finish and descriptions of the characters and locations. I'm really proud that i've even got this far. Hopefully, this will get me to get my ass in gear and go forward with my story.

I sent out the draft to a few friends who know of the story, editors maybe, and i'm waiting to hear back from them on their thoughts about it.

It's Finally Done... Well, sorta...

2007-11-01T18:23:00.001-07:00

Today marked the culmination of efforts started over two years ago. The Stamford Mall, where I work in the marketing department), finally opened its new multi-million dollar Plaza addition.

I'm so proud to be here and part of this, as we all worked our asses off to get this in the news, get people here, and assist in this huge project. The new stores and restaurants are as follows:

P.F. Chang's China Bistro
Kona Grill
California Pizza Kitchen
Cosi
Barnes and Noble (the largest one in CT, mind you)

Coming in the next couple of months are:

The Capital Grille
Mitchell's Fish Market
H&M

This is a huge step for this mall, because for the longest time, we had only subway as our available restaurant, and nothing else to speak of. However, with these new restaurants and stores, we're now a force to be reckoned with to other malls in the area.

So please, if you're in the Stamford, CT area, stop by and check these places out. You won't regret it.

In other news, because of all this, I haven't had time to work on my comic. I have some changes to make to the evil city Seddus Rhodes (like making it look less penis-like), and I want to make the other city, Lumanor (wink), but I'm still trying to figure out the style I want to go with.

Peace out everyone!

For pix, click here

If you're a religious person,

2007-10-30T07:52:00.001-07:00

Now would be a good time to pray for me.

Maybe...

2007-10-24T18:22:00.000-07:00

I think I can do this....

No Good Day Goes Un-FUBARed

2007-10-23T07:16:00.000-07:00

There seems to be a new unfortunate trend going on in my life.
I've been trying my best to do something that will make me happy each day. So recently, I've turned to modeling and rendering. Unfortunately, each day has been punctuated with something shitty, for lack of a better word, happening. I'm trying to stay on the path of the self-improving, but it's getting harder and harder to stand up after being knocked down so many times. Whether it's something personal or business related, petty or deathly serious, nothing is easy to bounce back from.

I guess this is the true test of how strong I'll have to be.

Seddus Rhodes, by the way.
check it.

Hey Groove, Welcome Back!

2007-10-22T06:12:00.000-07:00

So after much hiatus, I'm finally getting my groove back.
For many different reasons, at many different times, I couldn't bring myself to model anything. Pushing a poly was like pulling teeth, and I kinda just sat there, wishing I was as good as those in the field that I idolize for their incredible skills.

On Saturday morning, I had a conversation online with a peer who lives in Singapore and has taught me a lot over the past few years. He'll be teaching a CG class over there, and wanted to try his act on me a bit, covering different things. After his impromptu lesson, I was newly invigorated, and started modeling.
besides the picture to the right of this entry, I did some other cool stuff having to do with terrains and a major set for my story.

Once I can break out my laptop here at work, I'll transfer some pictures over to show.

It's been a while, and I'm glad I'm back.

Darkly Desiring More Dexter

2007-10-10T06:43:00.000-07:00

I have to throw a shoutout out there.
Dear ShinyKaro, thank you for introducing me to one of the most vile, disturbed, grotesque, bone-chilling, blood-curdling, depraved and absolutely brilliant shows that I have seen in a long time.

Showtime's Dexter, the show about your friendly neighborhood serial killer, is my newest guilty pleasure. I don' t mean guilty pleasure as one would consider something like, I dunno, say Rock of Love (wink). I mean it in the sense that despite the fact that the protagonist is a serial killer, and we, the viewers, love watching him stalk his prey, dispose of them through his special brand of justice, don the mask of normalcy and slither his way through dangerous situations that might expose him for the monster that he is. We love it all. From the disturbingly gruesome way that the introduction is shot, to the unnerving way that Dexter throws up veil of false emotions and then butchers criminals, abusers, mafia and other undesirables that he feels deserve the business end of his power tools.

I just finished the first season, thanks to iTunes, and I don't think that I was able to breathe for a good minute and a half after it had finished. In the spirit of not spoiling anything, I won't go into any sort of detail. That being said, I have to thank the writers for veering away from the habit of many prime-time writers to keep the story going trans-season, while answering one question only to ask three more and keep people hooked.

I believe that the story is in the characters. That is to say, one story can end, but because the characters are so fantastically written, the writer can put them into another situation and they would entertain us just as well. That is not to say that the story that progressed during the first season wasn't great, it was! It was enthralling, actually. But I'm glad that the characters are dynamic and multi-layered enough that we don't have to have a static villain (aside from our hero, of course) that we have to contend with year after year.

I like to call that the Inspector-Gadget effect. For those of you who remember, we never saw Dr. Claw, the antagonist of that particular cartoon, and he was never apprehended. We knew that each time a villian came by, he was sent by Dr. Claw, or at least the good ol' Doc had something to do with it, but we also knew that he would -always- be there, and that was that. No greater push, longer and harder journey to put this evil bastard away for good. Nada. It's alright to have a foil, but not for the sake of being a foil. Dexter doesn't suffer this, thankfully.

I'm also glad that this show is on Showtime. Somehow, I don't think that NBC or ABC could hack it (yeah, I went there). Because of the fact that Dexter is on a premium channel, they can get away with showing a lot of things you wouldn't see on basic cable. I'm not a fan of gore for gore's sake, but for being a show about a serial killer, there is surprisingly little gore. We see Dex working the tools, and then disposing of the trash, if you will. Most of the gore that we do see is the work of the Ice-Truck Killer, Dexter's adversary and playmate of season 1.

As far as my thoughts on the finale of Season 1, I applaud the writers for being able to time up everything so neatly. Questions about the hows and whys of the season are addressed in a believable way. Who does what and where is clearly laid out for us to see. I really appreciate that, because again, so many shows try to put a band-aid onto questions that either they didn't have the time to properly answer.

One last thing that I love about the show was the ending to the last episode. We see Dexter and his sister walking back into their police station after doing their justice, but I believe there is a seamless transition between reality, and what Dexter sees in his head. His fellow policemen and Miami residents cheering him on for doing away with the killer. Pats on the back for him doing his dirty deed. A sick appreciation for Dexter's after-work activities. As the monologue cuts out, and Dexter smiles and walks towards the camera, the images freezes with his face blurred but in an extreme close up, and in that one single frame, he really looks like the serial killer that we know him to be.

Go Go Gadget New-Potential-Hit-Series!

2007-10-07T10:16:00.001-07:00

Apparently, some people believe that lighting strikes often at the NBC offices. I'm not quite convinced yet, but I plan on driving down later with a kite and iron ring to prove that it can happen.

(The Bionic Women, Past and Present)

September 26 marked the first episode of NBC's 'reimagination' (more on this later) of 1976's "The Bionic Woman". In the new series, a 24 year-old Jaime Sommers, (played by Michelle Ryan), a young bartender, suffers a near-fatal car accident along with her college professor/secret agent boyfriend Will Anthros. Jaime only survives the crash because Will brings her to his place of employ for a quick tune up, saving her life, and simultaneously making her the most expensive bartender ever. After the initial shock and realization of what has happened to her, Jaime eventually understands what she has become, and starts way on a path to a more exciting life of technobabble, espionage and intrigue.

(Look ma, no legs.)

The series is co written by David Eick, of recent Battlestar Galactica fame. Interestingly enough, Eick's screen writing experience wasn't the only thing that he brought over from Galactica. Aaron Douglas, the loveable deck chief of questionable parentage in Galactica makes an appearance in the second episode. Katie Sackoff, (better known as Starbuck, to most) plays Sarah Corvus, the first Bionic Woman. That's right, I said first. Sommers comes into the game a little late. A Version 2.0 if you will. Obviously, this raises the question, "What happened to the first Bionic Woman that would warrant making a civilian into the second?". I'm glad you asked!

(Note: You can also tell that Sackoff is the bad one because of the cigarette and excessive use of eye-liner, if you couldn't tell before.)

Corvus does what Sackoff playes well. She goes bat-shit crazy, some people die and the token asian hand-to-hand combat instructor/operative/love interest played by Will Yun Lee (who, coincidently, plays many similar roles) puts a bullet in her head. Business as usual, right? Not for Corvus. Somehow, she's back, sans bullet-in-the-head, and she's working for the enemy as well as taking the time to antagonize our fair yet somewhat clueless heroine, Sommers. I must admit however, that the idea of one good and one bad bionic woman, while cliche at times (Star Trek and Knight Rider, I'm looking at you...) but I'm getting the feeling that Eick and Co are going to write this one in a more interesting way.

(Apparently facial hair is also a sign of evil...)

Spock and Evil Spock

Michael Knight and Evil Michael Knight

The future for the Bionic Woman?

Reimagination is a funny word. Honestly, spellcheck doesn't even recognize it. (Interestingly enough, spellcheck doesn't recognize the word "spellcheck" either, so take that for what you will). Can you really Re-Imagine something? If the first imagination isn't yours, are you really re-imagining anything, or playing off someone else's work and creativity? It's kinda like regifting, now that I think about it. The only reason that I bring this up, is that Eick so far has been attached to reimagining two series now; the aforementioned Galactica, and now Bionic Woman. Eick and Ron Moore took a campy and at sometimes damned silly series, and made it relevant for the 21st century. They cut out the capes and robotic dogs (thanks guys) and added the interesting and at some times uncomfortable questions that no one ever likes having to ask themselves, as well as updated visuals, and revitalized a good amount of television's sci-fi scene. Can this be done with Bionic Woman? We'll have to wait and find out. But so far, it's on the right track to becoming a fan favorite, as well as another notch in NBC's belt along with Heroes, Chuck, a slew of Law and Order and of course, Deal or No Deal.

The Bionic woman airs Wednesday night's at 9PM EST. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some kite-flying to do.

It's So Heavenly...

2007-09-15T13:41:00.001-07:00

Recently, I purchased what analysts predicted would be PS3's Killer App, or rather flagship game. Heavenly Sword has been promoted since the launch of the PS3, but has only recently been released. Personally, I'm glad that they took the extra time to produce this work of art. Before the release of the game, Ninja Theory released five short animations detailing the history of the game's namesake, entitled "Legend of the Sword". The short series served to provide some background on the sword, as well as some of the main characters, their ambitions and motivations.

In Heavenly Sword, Produced by UK Based Ninja Theory, you play as Nariko, the red-maned heroine and daughter of the leader of her clan. The clan is in possession of the Heavenly Sword, a mythical weapon once wielded by a deity sent from heaven to defeat the Raven Lord, a battle which predates the start of the game.

Over the generations after the defeat of the Raven Lord, the sword passed from hand to hand, leaving carnage in it's wake. It granted its owner immeasurable power, yet drained their life at the same time. It eventually fell into the hands of the clan, who vowed to keep, but not use the sword, until the next heavenly warrior appeared.

The game begins as the clan is fleeing from the armies of King Bohen (voiced and acted by Lord of the Rings' Andy Serkis). Bohen, in his attempts to conquer all the lands in his sights, sees the heavenly sword as a means to do such, and is as relentless as he is evil. The story is about Nariko's journey after attaining the Heavenly Sword to free her people and put an end to King Bohen's reign.

Heavenly Sword is an Action/Adventure game which uses the PS3's CELL processor incredibly well. Each environment is beautifully crafted. The models are well made, and versatile, and the animation is seamless and flows very nicely.

One of the most impressive parts of the game is in the cut-scenes. Serkis was made Dramatic Director by Ninja Theory, and thus, coordinated the motion capture for each scene. Not only are the actor's bodies motion captured, but their faces are as well, leading to very impressive facial animation, adding a new depth of realism to the game. The score, produced by the Prague Philharmonic Orchestra, borrows from both Asian and Indian styles and rhythms, enhancing each scene.

Each of the characters are well written, from the heroine Nariko, her adopted younger sister Kai (who reminds me of a certain Icelandic Pop-Star), to the ruthless Flying Fox and Whiptail. Each character has a distinct persona, and nothing is overplayed or reused, as is a problem in many modern games.

In the efforts to not spoil this game for anyone who hasn't played it, I won't go into much detail about what progresses. The game got good reviews, but also come criticism on two major points. 1) Heavenly Sword is so similar to God of War that some have termed it Goddess of War, and 2) The game is comparatively short, and can be completed in 1 to 2 afternoons. There are certain gameplay similarites between Heavenly Sword and God of War, but they do not detract from the overall experience. Heavenly Sword also borrows from the interactive cut-scenes of Shenmue.

All this aside, it looks like game developers are starting to utilize the PS3's CELL processor better. With games like this and Lair, we can only hope to see more beautifully crafted games for Sony's newest console.

Heavenly Sword (PS3) Trailer - Watch today’s top amazing videos here

We Doth Been All Up in That Piece

2007-09-12T08:54:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, I was graciously invited by Kevin and Jane to go to the Renaissance Festival in Tuxedo New York. It's been years since I've gone to a Renaissance Fair, so I wasn't really sure what to expect. Luckily, I was in good company.

As is tradition, we went around and sampled many types of Renaissance goods like swords and leather. Jane spent about 20 minutes trying on pirate boots with lots of buckles and lots of leather while Walt and I fought off the locals who were making comments and trying to sneak a peek.

As a tribute to the Harry Potter series, Jane and I repped it up big after I bought my wand (geek powers, activate!). We would have taken more pictures, but those cloaks itched like hell.

On our way out, we out, we walked past a lonely wizard perched on a hill. As we are not those to miss a perfect photo opportunity, we strolled up to the kindly old wizard and asked if we could take a picture. He started mumbling all sorts of things that sounded like Jane and I were getting married, while Kevin took the picture. Walt stepped in, but I told him that I wasn't into threesomes. After taking the picture and getting the hell out of there, we broke out, back to reality, but not before Walt and I got put away for attempted assault on a wizard.

Maguire attached to Robotech

2007-09-08T08:16:00.003-07:00

Tobey Maguire, the guy who made it clear he was oh so sick of doing big budget, comic book movies while on the press tour for Spider-Man 3, is producing and possibly starring in a big budget, anime movie for Warner Brothers.

The film is a live action adaptation of one the most popular anime series of all time, Robotech, which is essentially about pilots who take giant mechs into combat against aliens. It may be written by Craig Zahler (writer of the upcoming revenge western, The Brigands of Rattleborge) and doesn’t currently have a release date.

For more info, click here.

Review: Windows Live

2007-09-02T14:49:00.001-07:00

So out of curiosity, I decided to do some checking up on what MSN.com is doing. Much to my surprise, they've been very busy.

With Vista out now for a while, and from what I can gather, Microsoft is doing it's best to create as much interoperability between Windows Vista and Windows Live.

Windows Vista Start Bar	Windows Live Star Bar

On every Windows Live page, there's an icon in the top left corner that looks an awful lot like the start button on Windows Vista. The operation is exactly the same as well. In Vista, you access your programs, documents and settings through the start menu. In Live, you access all your Windows Live services in the same way.

Windows Live Hotmail

We all are very aware of Windows Hotmail, which has been offering free web based email for over ten years now. However, after Gmail hit the scene, Hotmail was nothing to write home about. Gmail offered more space, an easier interface, Google's name and stability. Hotmail had a fraction of the space, and because of it's lack of decent filters, was always riddled with spam. Now, thanks to a complete redesign, enhanced filters, it's established user base, and 5GB of space, Windows Live Hotmail is suddenly a force to be reckoned with.

Windows OneCare

While many people may find this a bit intrusive, Windows is offering OneCare, a downloadable application made specifically for Vista that offers protection, performance monitors, and more to keep your PC running smoothly. While the application is not free, Windows is offering a 90 day trial. For those who are not particularly computer savvy, OneCare seems to be easy to use, and beneficial for Vista users.

Windows Spaces

Microsoft's blog service is nothing new, and honestly, nothing to get excited about. The design is basic and bland, and the only thing it has going for it is it's integration with Windows Live Messenger. Users can see when new blogs and pictures have been updated right in their messenger window.

Normally, this wouldn't be of much news, but it does lead us into...

Windows Live Writer

This is one application that I was frankly surprised about. Windows released a standalone blog writing application for use with it's Windows Spaces blog service. What's surprising is that it's compatible with most other blog services. It's WYSWIG editor is very easy to use, and automatically formats itself to match the look and feel of the blog, taking fonts and CSS into account. Comes complete with spell check, formatting tools, and more! However, as nice as a standalone application for blogging is concerned, one thing that I found a bit annoying is that unless you have an FTP account handy, embedding pictures is not as intuitive as Google's Blogger service. For this entry, I found myself uploading pictures into SkyDrive (see below), setting them in a dedicated folder, setting permissions, copying the web address for each one, and then inserting that into the blog in Writer. Not particularly intuitive, if you ask me. If you're listening, Live Team, integrate SkyDrive into Writer so that I can Click and Drag files into my posts!*

Well, with all this mention of SkyDrive, lets move on to....

Windows SkyDrive

SkyDrive is a web based storage drive, much like Google's Drive extension (which was not very intuitive to use). Unfortunately, as of the time of this writing, SkyDrive was having some issues, and I wasn't able to check it out for this review. One drawback is that SkyDrive only offers 500MB of storage, which may be enough for hosting photos and the random document for transfer between home and work, but not much else.

There are more services which I haven't had the opportunity to sample yet, but one thing that I have noticed is that the Live Team has left Beta as a suffix to most of these services. There are noticeable improvements to be made, but so far, the Live Team is making many enhancements to the general service.

I'm not sure if this will tempt me away from Google's iGoogle homepage, or the variety of services that Google offers. Some may think that this is too little too late for Microsoft, however, it is a welcome change from the bare minimum that was being offered before.

(*Edit: As of this writing, an extension for writer has been made to include files from SkyDrive. It's available from the "Add a Plugin) link, but it's not much help...

No blog today

2007-08-24T12:29:00.001-07:00

maybe next time.

Missed a Day, Sue me.

2007-08-22T08:03:00.000-07:00

So I'm not letting my missing yesterday's blog posting get me down. Anyways, here's what I was -planning- on writing....

I could very well write a post about work. About how I hate drama, and people who thrive on spreading it. I could also write about how I detest incompetence, especially when it pertains to my job. I could write about how some people, when receiving bad news, take it out of the one giving the news, not the reason for the news it.
I could write about all that.
But I won't.

Instead, I'll write about something that happened yesterday that was very good. For those who know me, or more specifically, my Father and I don't usually see eye to eye, nor do we exchange touchy feely feelings.

Yesterday, I spent some time with him, and spoke briefly about my future. That is to say, we both spoke in "Man-Code" which is making allusions and implications instead of saying it outright. While he originally kinda disagreed, I think that we eventually reached a conclusion that I have to do what I feel is right for me. I have to walk down my own path.
I think that he and I finally see eye to eye on something.

That made me feel really good.

A Blog A Day

2007-08-20T07:32:00.000-07:00

For the sake of others, and for my own, I'm going to try to write a blog a day. I have never been very good about keeping a journal, but hopefully this will change. I just have to try to find out what to write about.

This past weekend was mostly good. I spent some good time with good friends who wouldn't let me be alone for too long at a time, else I'd start thinking about things that would hurt the mood and throw me into a depression again.

Jane and Kevin have been fantastic friends during this low point. Jane has been very good to me over the years, and it's good to have someone that cares for me so much back from her travels and local. Kevin has surprised me very much. I met him once years ago, and now that he's living in Stamford as well, he's been very good and calling me even when Jane isn't around, just to see how I'm doing. I've never been very close to guys, but Kevin is a great guy. He's someone that I can talk to, that doesn't try to throw the whole, "We're Dudes! Dude's don't have feelings! We're Butch and Spit and Fart and Belch and Check Women Out" mentality that I hate so much. They're good people, and I'm glad that I have them in my life.

I'm going to have dinner with my old friend Amy from my Umass days today. Amy's always been a sounding board for me, and me for her. She lives a few towns over, but we try to stay in touch as much as we can, even though I've been neglecting her a bit in recent months. Amy's family has been great to me as well over the years. Her mother said that anytime I would like Korean food, feel free to drop by. I wish I took more advantage of that over the years.
Hopefully, Amy and I can spend more time together, as she's been absolutely fantastic to me in the past.

Much to the dismay of my real hobbies, art and music, I've found a new one. Ladies and Gentlemen, Guitar Hero II is addictive. Those who are not READY TO ROCK need not apply.
With a great soundtrack, fun and colorful visuals, a guitar controller, dueling guitar functionality, and 'Tilt the Guitar to activate your super star rock out power' function, it's a good time for everyone. I picked it up last week, and showed it to my roommate, who immediately went out and got his own axe as well as Guitar Hero II: Rock the 80's for his daughter.

Check out this set list:

1. Opening Licks

"Shout at the Devil" – Mötley Crüe
"Mother" – Danzig †
"Surrender" – Cheap Trick
"Woman" – Wolfmother
"Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight" – Spinal Tap † (Encore)

2. Amp-Warmers

"Strutter" – Kiss †
"Heart-Shaped Box" – Nirvana
"Message in a Bottle" – The Police
"You Really Got Me" – Van Halen^[3]
"Carry on Wayward Son" – Kansas (Encore)

3. String-Snappers

"Monkey Wrench" – Foo Fighters
"Them Bones" – Alice in Chains
"Search and Destroy" – Iggy Pop and the Stooges
"Tattooed Love Boys" – The Pretenders
"War Pigs" – Black Sabbath (Encore)

4. Thrash and Burn

"Cherry Pie" – Warrant
"Who Was in My Room Last Night?" – The Butthole Surfers †
"Girlfriend" – Matthew Sweet †
"Can't You Hear Me Knockin'" – The Rolling Stones †
"Sweet Child o' Mine" – Guns N' Roses (Encore)

5. Return of the Shred

"Killing in the Name" – Rage Against the Machine
"John the Fisherman" – Primus
"Freya" – The Sword
"Bad Reputation" – Thin Lizzy
"Last Child" – Aerosmith † (Encore)

6. Relentless Riffs

"Crazy on You" – Heart
"Trippin' on a Hole in a Paper Heart" – Stone Temple Pilots
"Rock This Town" – Stray Cats
"Jessica" – The Allman Brothers Band †
"Stop" – Jane's Addiction (Encore)

7. Furious Fretwork

"Madhouse" – Anthrax
"Carry Me Home" – The Living End
"Laid to Rest" – Lamb of God †
"Psychobilly Freakout" – Reverend Horton Heat
"YYZ" – Rush (Encore)

8. Face-Melters

"Beast and the Harlot" – Avenged Sevenfold
"Institutionalized" – Suicidal Tendencies †
"Misirlou" – Dick Dale
"Hangar 18" – Megadeth
"Free Bird" – Lynyrd Skynyrd † (Encore)

Bonus Tracks

"Raw Dog" – The Last Vegas (Winner of the "Be a Guitar Hero" Contest)
"Arterial Black" – Drist †
"Collide" – Anarchy Club
"Drink Up" – Ounce of Self
"Elephant Bones" – That Handsome Devil
"Fall of Pangea" – Valient Thorr
"FTK" – Vagiant
"Gemini" – Brian Kahanek †
"Laughtrack" – The Acro-brats †
"Less Talk More Rokk" – Freezepop †
"Jordan" – Buckethead
"Kicked to the Curb" – Noble Rot
"Mr. Fix It" – The Amazing Crowns
"The New Black" – Every Time I Die
"One for the Road" – The Breaking Wheel
"Parasite" – The Neighborhoods
"Push Push (Lady Lightning)" – Bang Camaro
"Radium Eyes" – Count Zero
"Red Lottery" – Megasus
"Six" – All That Remains
"Soy Bomb" – Honest Bob and the Factory-to-Dealer Incentives †
"The Light That Blinds" – Shadows Fall
"Thunderhorse" – Dethklok
"Trogdor" – Strong Bad †
"X-Stream" – Voivod
"Yes We Can" – Made in Mexico

A few songs of note are Free bird, and Trogdor, Yes, TROGDOOOOOOR by Strong Bad.

The ability for one player to play lead guitar and the other to play rhythm guitar, or one to play guitar and the other to play bass, makes for a fun time. I think the most fun that I've had was when my roommate (who's a pretty big, jacked guy), picks up the tiny guitar controller that looks like a ukelele to him, and rocks out to Mother by Danzig and sings along.
I'm waiting for Rock Band to drop in November as well though.

I don't know what the rest of my week is going to look like, but I have to keep busy. I threw on LW again last night and modeled something for my everything but forgotten story. I have to really force myself to get back into that, because as someone at the NYC Lightwave Group said, "If you don't do it, someone else will. Then where will you be?"

Group Mentality

2007-08-16T07:40:00.000-07:00

This is something that I should have done a long time ago. With the exception of two semesters at UMASS under questionable tutelage, I have never had any official training, or professional contacts with those in the CG industry. For a big city, Stamford, CT has a very small CG community. This, of course, has the unfortunate side effect of me pretty much being an island as far as networking goes.

This is where I get the “Duh, stupid… Look right in front of you!” award. I live about 45 minutes out of NYC, and there just happens to be a NYC Lightwave group that meets monthly. These are people who (like me,) are hobbyists, but also professionals. From what I understand, they get together, discuss what the software can do, talk about personal/professional projects and the best way to complete them, talk about news, and generally have a good time.

Like I said, this is something that I should have gotten into a long time ago. I have a hard time with motivation if something isn’t concerned with my current job. If I’m not getting paid for it, it’s hard to force myself to get into something, no matter how much I like it. Recently, everything –besides- my passions have taken the drivers seat in my life, and to be honest, I miss the things that I used to love.

I’m going today into the city to go to my first NYCLightwave user group meeting. I hope to meet a lot of like-minded individuals, make some contacts, and try to find some of that flare that used to be so at hand. I need to find it and get it back. I have to have something to strive towards and keep my mind occupied.

Here's the postcard that they sent to remind us all of the meeting.

Color me excited.

Watch That First Step

2007-08-13T08:36:00.000-07:00

The famous lawyer Eugene Ware once said, “All glory comes from daring to begin”. Now, if Gene was alive today, I’d probably ask if I could buy him a beer and ask him what the hell I’m supposed to do next. I don’t know if it’s truly glory that I’m looking for, but I do agree that ‘daring to begin’ is the key to any success.

I’ve been stagnant, going through the motions, but not really moving for a while now. I have a path ahead of me, but taking that first step, and then the next and so on is the hard part. Now that I have the reason to move on, it’s the motivation I’m looking for. Well, that’s not entirely true, it’s the drive. The drive to get off my ass and begin. I know that it’s important, and it’s the rest of my life, and I owe it to others, and more importantly, myself to get going. That first step is always the tricky one. I have to make moves, big ones, for my personal and professional growth. I’m going to dare to begin. I just hope that the ‘glory’ is worth all the exhaustion and heartache that it’s going to take to get there.

More games should be like this:

2007-08-12T16:55:00.000-07:00

Gitaroo man!

Confessions of a Broken Heart

2007-08-08T10:34:00.000-07:00

I do read it, and it does matter to me. I read it all.

What Makes Someone Brave?

I believe it's doing what you think is right, no matter how much you hate doing it. And I hate doing it...

I've been wondering over the past day-and-a-half if I'm some kind of masochist. I sit by and watch the pain that I've caused others unfold before me, reading every letter of every word of every sentence at least twice. It kills me. It kills me to think that I did this, that I made a decision that hurt someone that I care for probably more than I care for myself. Maybe that's the point of it all. I don't like it though. I don't like seeing her this way. She deserves better, she deserves all the love in the world. She deserves to be happy, and light, and love herself. Over the years, I've caused trouble and pain for someone who didn't deserve any of it. I can only blame myself for the problems that stemmed from my own faults.

I tried. I really did. I wish I was able to do more. Anything that I could do, or allow myself to do, I did, just to see a flicker of a smile on her face. Sometimes it was there, lots of times, it wasn't. If I could have collected every single tear over the past 5 years that she shed, I'd put them in a crystal vial and look at them every single day as a reminder that I screwed up. I screwed up big. I don't want to keep screwing up, but I won't forgive myself for making her cry even once. She deserved better than that, and she deserves better for herself now.

Love at least once in your life...

2007-08-07T08:30:00.000-07:00

... or else you'll never experience of the most fantastic things in the world.

Making It All Work

2007-07-17T11:23:00.000-07:00

3D art is not easy.
Putting together a single scene in 3D involves many different disciplines. As in many art forms, you first try to visualize what your end result should look like. This involves deciding the mood, the focus, the color scheme, the emotion and probably many other things I'm forgetting.

You build your models (which include principal actors or a focus), which involves an understanding of scale, spatial relationships, thinking in more than two dimensions, an attention to detail and understanding complex shapes.

Texturing objects involves understanding the physical properties of materials, how light reacts with an object, be it how color is affected, the mysteries of reflection, specular and gloss, light absorption, refraction, diffuse and other properties of light.

Laying out a scene involves, orienting and placing each object,
as well as a main camera, in order to match as closely as possible what you originally visualized. Understand space and scale and how the eye works in general is critical.

Lighting the scene takes into consideration not just your sun or moon,
but also the different properties of different man made light, as well as how light bounces of objects and in a sense, travels around your scene.

Animation, maybe the most popular of the disciplines, involves a strict understanding of natural motion, physics, acting, and concepts related to telling a story.

Each one of these steps is incredibly involved. Many books have been written by artists great and not so great, and many larger studios employ teams of people to handle each one of these stages.

I've somewhat wrapped my head around modeling, both hard-body and organic (although I could stand to get better), I understand the fundamentals of UV/Texture mapping, again, with much room for improvement.

However, there are the three other things that I'm still learning how to do.

Because of the fact that I haven't really attempted much animation, I'm saving that for last, but for the life of me, I can't figure out scene layout and lighting. I've bought books on lighting in the past, but most of it still alludes me.

Falloffs, intensity, the difference between the effect of an area light, an omni directional light, a linear light...

The difference between ray traced shadows and shadow map based shadows...

Global illumination, HDR imaging...

Then of course, there's layouts. What's the scale? How do you define scale in an image? What about the backdrop? How does the atmosphere and the time of day come into place?

I think that if i figure out the concepts behind all these things, maybe I can fly off this plateau that I've found myself grounded on for so long. I want to put things together, not just objects, but scenes. I want to put together little tiny bits of reality, one piece at a time. I want it to look damn good.
And I don't know what I'm doing wrong so far...

Getting Back To My Roots

2007-07-03T08:24:00.000-07:00

Taking a break from cel shaded fantasty stuff, I thought I would delve back into the more realistic types of modeling. Inspired by god knows what, I thought I would try my hand at making a sort of futuristic, high quality, luxury hoverboard (i'm thinking honda or toyota, not sure yet).

Making something that's not bulky, but streamlined and sexy, as many luxury transportation vehicles are, I decided to go with spline modeling as opposed to poly or box modeling. This will allow me to 1) plan out the curves and contours before I start modeling, 2) keep everything sleek and sexy and 3) help me brush up on my high-poly spline modeling.

I'm going for a porcelain/fiberglass frame, with rubber bumpers/foot padding.
Things yet do to:
Finish modeling details
UV Map
Shade and Texture
Produce Particle Emitter effects
Rig with basic character

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far

2007-05-31T06:41:00.001-07:00

APPLESEED was a joy to watch.
This is not news, as it's been out now for three years.
Not only was the story intriguing, but it was one of the first cel-shaded action movies from Japan to make waves in this country. Being a huge fan of cel-shading, this was a huge inspiration to me.

Appleseed, based on the graphic novel by the same name, was written by Masamune Shiro, and the graphic novel was so well received that it won the 1986 Seiun Award for Best Manga. Shiro, a fan icon inthe cyberpunk scene has gone on to pen many more stories, but for a large group of fans, Appleseed was a crowning achievement, followed only by the Ghost in the Shell series.

Two things come to mind when thinking about stories by Shiro; his frequent use of strong, female leads in his stories, and his philosophy on mecha and its limitations. For as much as I've seen, Shiro's stories have always had strong female leads, something which I admire. Let's face it, guy's and dolls, there are a lot of kick-ass women out there who hold their own just as much, if not more than men. Recently, there have been more heroine's in major media, Lara Croft, Ripley from the Aliens series, Battlestar Galactica's Starbuck and more that I'm sure I haven't mentioned. This is not to say that Shiro makes them larger than life necessarily, like so many male heroes have been, but he shows a determination and inner strength, as well as physical prowess that matches the boys. It's this fan's opinion that doing such was a great move by Shiro, as it not only set his work aside, but it finally gave the spotlight to those who deserve it.

Shiro once created a Rules of Mecha article a while back detailing the physical limitations of mechanical augmentations to the human body. Why is this significant? Well, in most movies, books and film, the artistic direction is completely implausible. Let's say you have Joe Action who loses both arms while fighting off a ferocious tribe of pygmy armadillos. Joe gets back and has bionic arms grafted to his body. Now he can lift up cars, steel vault doors and the like. Nope, sorry Joe, no dice. According to Shiro's articles, while the bionic arms themselves may have the capacity to lift an incredible amount of tonnage, they are still grafted to Joe's original bone structure. Due to the transfer of weight throughout the body, the shiny new arms would be fine, but the rest of poor Joe's bones would shatter. He's probably cry too... pansy.

Observations such as this changed the way that mecha (specifically human augmentation) has been designed. For example, all of the physical augmentations that deal with strength have been written to include fully reinforced skeletal structures.

So why do I bring all of this up?
Because there's a sequal coming. It has been announced today that Appleseed Saga Ex Machina, the sequal to the first movie, is now in production and will be released Q4 07 in japan (so most likely Q1 08 stateside). From the trailer available on the official Appleseed Saga Ex Machina website, the technique and direction has significantly improved, as well as the quality of animation. Its being directed by the #1 fan of slow motion doves, Mr John Woo, so expect a good amount of gun-play and eye candy.

So am I excited? Oh hells yes. Not only does the fact that the series is continuing excite me, but seeing the cutting edge technique is something that I've been waiting for. Don't get me wrong, I like my share of ogres, donkeys, talking cats, talking, gingerbread men, talking penguins, talking toys, talking rats, surfing penguins, lost zoo animals, superheroes, talking mammoths and talking cars as much as the next red-blooded American, but I'm growing older now. My tastes have changed. I'm glad someone, somewhere has notices, and is making movies accordingly.

Dave Loves DAVE Loves 9.0

2007-05-22T15:13:00.000-07:00

GEEK POWERS, ACTIVATE!

Ladies and Gents, you are now looking at one of the newest accepted applicant to the Digital Animation and Visual Effects School, affectionately referred to as the DAVE school. Lemme tell you about this place I like to call Heaven.

The DAVE school is located smack dab in the middle of sunny (and from what I hear, friggin humid) Orlando, FL. It's actually in the back lot of Universal Studios, FL. It features a slew of computer labs, motion capture green screen room, recording room, and some of the best instructors that a CG hopeful could ever ask for.

The DAVE School program runs for one year, and is broken up into 4 sections called "blocks". Each block focuses on a different levels of proficiency, starting with basic modeling and knowledge of Newtek's Lightwave 3D program, architectural modeling and rendering, character modeling and animation, bluescreening and compositing, and finally group dynamics, leading a team. During the program, aside from digitally compositing yourself into any movie of your choice, creating a good amount of portfolio and demo reel, you work with your team to create not only a half live action, half CG short film, but a completely full CG short film.

The instructors at this school are second to none. People here have worked on a variety of blockbuster movies, fantastic television, and more. They teach what they know, they teach what they love. These are people that left various studios, companies, and firms to teach people like me how to work together in groups like this, how to put together a demo reel, how to use what we have to create fantastic images and video.

Not only that, but after graduating, graduates can still use all the facilities that the school offers. Demo reel hosting, access to all new classes and new professors, access to green screen facilities, etc. All this for the low price of $29.5K. There inlies the biggest hurdle. Financial loans are available, but that's still close to $30,000.
Kinda makes me really think seriously about it. Not that I would ever miss this chance, but more like I would work harder at this than I ever have; ever at school, and ever at work. I have to put all I have into this. And I plan on it.

In other news, I just purchased the upgrade for my personal copy of Lightwave, bringing me up to version 9.0. This one has a slew of new advancements, and hopefully, It'll help me find my groove again, and get back to producing (and hopefully finishing) many many products before I move over to Florida.

Clock's ticking. Time to get to work.

Motivation

2007-04-04T07:16:00.000-07:00

(fixed so that anyone can post)

So I’m a day late. Sue me.

It’s been a while since I’ve touched Lightwave 3D. I have no good reason as to the hiatus, except for the fact that I’ve been very busy. My full time job has been consistently taking precious hours out of my day, as well as hours away from sleep. The recent move that I’ve made, from downtown Stamford to North Stamford, was an ordeal, but is just about done. However, because of the lull, motivation is lacking.

Every now and again, I hit a motivational valley in-between the motivational highs that I usually find myself in. Lightwave is there, just a click away, but I have no drive to start creating. These times usually coincide with depression or frustration that can be attributed to the other facets of my life.

For the past few years, (has it been that long already?) I’ve been trying to put together a story, one that I’ve become very invested in, and passionate about. I’ve wanted to tell this story to the world, for no other purpose than to tell it. However, after constant rewrites, constant artistic changes, technical issues, and general time constraints, I haven’t worked on it in a while. Like a puzzle with missing pieces.

After a recent trip down to Florida to see the DAVE (Digital Animation and Visual Effects) school in the hopes to eventually enroll, I think I’ve seen a spark of that motivation that has previously been so elusive. Seeing groups of like-minded people working together for a common goal, to produce something out of nothing but hard work, creativity and talent, lit the fuse to the creative barrel of gunpowder sitting within my artistic soul. I’m just waiting for the bang.

In the meantime, to do what I can to self motivate, I’m trying to think of what would look good in my demo reel and portfolio. As of right now, I don’t have much that I’m proud of anymore; amateurishly laid out scenes and models, less than decent texturing, shoddy concepts. After seeing the work that my peers have created, it’s clear as day that I have a lot of concepts to brush up on, theories to remember, and generally a long way to go. A while ago, I picked up some books on fantasy art, as well as figure sketching. I think it’s about time that I picked those up again, and taken pencil to paper again and started trying to find what is lost to me now.

Until then, if you render, keep rendering. If you write, keep writing. If you draw, keep drawing. And as always, keep rockin’.

Welcome Home

2007-04-01T19:08:00.000-07:00

So, here I am.
New blog when I have a moment tomorrow~

The Saga Continues... Sort of...

2005-12-01T13:08:00.000-08:00

So things at work have been so busy that I haven't had much time to really update.
'Tis the holiday season, and as much as i'm learning not to like it, I work in the retail industry. That's not really condusive to personal creative products.

As you can see to the right, I've been trying to find new ways to make the art that i've been working on better. It's coming along slowly, but I do believe that the effort will certainly pay off.

I've finally started on the first page of artwork based on the every changing script I have, and it's interesting to feel even a slight sense of accomplishment with what i've done so far. I just hope that i'm not so burned out after the holidays that I can't find the motivation to continue.

It's a good story if I do say so myself, and it would be a shame if I couldn't end up telling it.

Moving right along...

2005-09-14T08:43:00.000-07:00

So i've finally made some (very little) progress in Nevergreen. Not a whole lot, but as the ancient chinese would say, "The longest journey starts with the first step"... or something like that....
Sometimes it starts with a beast-drawn cart!

I found a new way to rig characters (for lightwave) that has sped up the process of setting scenes up for shots tremendously. (Thanks T4D!)
With that, I'm able to really look at how I want certain shots to play. Now it comes down to working my writer to finalize the script, then format it for a comic page.

Next, i've been working on layouts after reading Writing and Illustrating the Graphic Novel. Got some good results, albiet not very many, hey but it's a start!

Busy weekend

2005-08-29T08:16:00.000-07:00

It's so hard to find the time...
But this weekend, I made it a point to do some good work, and so far, i've had some good results.
Took the time to work on the weighting on some of my meshes, and made some new ones such as a cave for one of the early issues of my comic, a sword for the prologue, and printed out some high res pictures of my main characters.

All in all, pretty productive.

whodawhathuh?

2005-08-09T11:22:00.000-07:00

Was my story too boring to elicit a comment?

there go my dreams!

Hey, been a while~

2005-08-04T08:36:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the period of inactivity. Work has been hard and had a few family problems, (not to mention injury) to deal with.

As promised:

Nevergreen

In the beginning, the Goddess watched over Earth. Life was good. The people of earth were grateful to to the goddess for the clean water in the streams, the abundance of vegetation and wildlife to feed themselves, clean air, and most of all, no desire for war. For thousands of years, the people lived in peace, learning, adapting, building and bettering themselves. They never once forgot the Goddess. Building temples to worship her, writing songs to praise her....

The Goddess, Adella Rei, created the angels to govern over different aspects of her creation. Everything from the the changing of the seasons to the birds in the air were watched over by the angels.

However, Adella Rei's brother, Tepal, became jealous. There we no alters to worship him. In the depths of the earth, he concocted a plan. Over hundreds of years, he created an army to match the powers of the heavens.

Over one horrific year, the dieties fought. Humankind, at first were scared, as they had never seen anything of this sort before, but soon chose sides. They decided based on loyalty, and new emotions they had soon learned; greed, and lust for power.

The temples were destroyed. The rivers and oceans poisened. On the seventh day, Adella Rei was struck down.

Tepal had won the Diety War. He conquered the heavens. The surviving angels were forced to serve under him, as they were the second most powerful creations of Adella Rei, humans being the first. All agreed to serve Tepal except one, Kyriel, the angel of hope.

In an unexpected move, Kyriel leapt to attack Tepal, to the rest of the angels surprise. Kyriel was struck down by Tepal within seconds. As an example, Tepal threw Kyriel's body to earth.

Over 2 thousand years have passed since the end of the Diety War. The earth still lays in ruins except for 3 places.

The Holy City, A city-state that worships Tepal as the true god is the culmination of science, technology and philosophy stands overbearingly over its inhabitants. No record of the holy war is kept, for fear of uprisings. The church controls the govornment and the military, and has direct contact with Tepal. There are 12 heads of the church and a number of archbishops. Often, people go missing, as the church performs experiments to further their own agendas. Those who refuse to follow the church are exhiled.

Kyriels remains, being made by the goddess, revitalized the surrounding area. A small villiage of refugees from the Holy City found their way here. They cultivated the land, and try to live in peace.

Those that did not find the remains fled to the mountains, near old ruins of Adella Rei's Temples. There, they learned to enchant rock and stone. They are very suspicious of anyone to enter their territory.

Not only did Kyriel's remains revitalize the land, but they brought something with them. As generations lived in this sacred area, strange markings appeared on some of their bodies. The markings were indistinct, incomplete, and were generally ignored, until the birth of Karin and Turi.

Sister and brother, orphaned at a young age, and teased for tattoo like markings on their faces, Karin and Turi knew that they were different.

Soon, they shall realize how different they are, and destiny has in store for them.

Phew... Well, lunch break is over. Back to work. I hope this sparked some interest.

-Phil

Ok, I lied...

2005-07-13T06:14:00.000-07:00

I said in the comments that I was going to tell my story in the next post, but I havent taken the time to type it all up in a non-spoiler fashion. Plus, i've been working on my demo reel so i've been busy.

Anyways, here's a link to said reel, even though it's no where near finished.

Story in the next post, i promise.

London

2005-07-07T09:19:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to rant or rave about how upset I am about this mornings events in London. I was born and raised there, and still have friends and family there.
All I will say is that my thoughts and prayers go out to londoners.

In other news, something I was working on a couple of days ago.

Evolutions: A long time coming

2005-07-04T19:01:00.000-07:00

So I decided to look back at some of the work i've been making over the past few months, and the different versions of my favorite models. It's actually quite nice, 'cus I can see how i've gotten a little better than I was at modeling a few months ago. So, to compare, I made some pictures that I'll post here. They are of Karin and Turi, the two main characters of nevergreen.
Also, i've been sketching a new idea (well, not really a new idea, but a new sketch of an old idea) that I can show here, but not explain yet, lest the story be ruined. Will do that soon.

Karin

First version to second.

Second to third (radiosity was so I could really see the mesh)

Turi

First to current.

So much to do...

2005-06-28T07:01:00.000-07:00

Did some work on a character named Loken over the weekend (tweaking, rigging). Not done with him yet though, as his fingers look like sausages...
His story is that he's the de facto leader of the band of desert rebels that the main characters meet during their travels. After I finish up on him, I have to design, model and rig his mountain counterpart.

Gotta keep going ahead~

2005-06-24T08:31:00.000-07:00

Wahoo! Day 2 of 928475 (give or take)

So much to do, so little time.
I have to work on environments a bit, as my skill in modeling and lighting them leaves much to be desired. But what I really have to do is learn to do some concept art before I start modeling. Maybe planning absolutely everything will help me stay organized and motivated. I have to think of panel layouts, color schemes, logos, script and plot devices and much more.
We'll see. This weekend should be uneventful, so maybe i'll have some time to work...

Here are some picutres that i've been messing with as of late.

And so it begins...

2005-06-23T10:05:00.000-07:00

First Post! Not much to show quite yet, as i'm not at my home terminal...

This is where I would like to post any ideas, concepts, sketches, revisions, scenes pictures and pretty much anything else regarding my cel-shaded story, Nevergreen, while it's in development. Hopefully, you can come here to check out some of the how's and why's of the comic as the series progresses.

Welcome.